"What are YOU looking at!?"

Sometimes - no matter how well you slept, you wake up looking and feeling like this:

This photo was taken this morning, I hadn't brushed my
 teeth yet, don't judge me.

Unfortunately, from the moment I opened my eyes this morning and muttered the words "what are YOU looking at" I knew... today was one of those mornings.

If you find yourself in this predicament - Don't beat yourself up, there's no shame in it. It is impossible to predict and even harder to prevent. 

Just follow these 5 simple rules to ensure you revert back to your beautiful self by the time you kiss your Partner/Mum/Dog/Inside plant on the cheek and frolic off to work; birds chirping, flowers swaying and traffic dispersing, just for you.

Rule #1 - Don't speak

Anything you say at this point will be used against you. No matter how quickly you think you can get yourself out of this mood, multiply it by 5. Avoid spoken words like the plague. Unless of course, you enjoy spending the rest of the day grovelling. I didn't think so. Close your mouth.

Rule #2 - Choose music, not T.V

Nobody likes Mel and Koshie. Even on a good day they'll grate you like a lump of vintage cheddar. Pop your favourite music on and in moments you'll start to feel your mood dissolve. Depending on the severity of said mood, a little jig might help too.

Rule #3 - Shower

Let's hope you do this every morning, but on a morning like this - make it a cold one. A cold shower is as good as a slap in the face and we all know that's exactly what the 'Witch Doctor' ordered.

Rule #4 - Keep calm and down a coffee

By now you should be starting to feel a bit more like your old self. It's time.

Make it a strong one, you need it.

The most important part of this rule is to make it yourself. DO NOT have any one do this for you. They will no doubt pour the coffee in on the wrong side of the mug (useless, I tell you) resulting in unexplained howling, in which case your day can be considered a write off.

Rule #5 - Fake it til you make it

If rules number 1 through 4 haven't managed to make a dent in your foul mood, fake it. This is your last resort.

Do your hair, your makeup, pop a pretty frock on and splash on your best smile. Give your victim the obligatory kiss on the cheek and watch as they stare in confusion as you skip out the door to start your fabulous day.

When I say skip, I mean - actually skip... you will be surprised at how good it makes you feel.

Conclusion

If your mood is too far gone and these simple rules may as well have been five annoying children asking you why you look so ugly, go back to bed - nobody wants to see you today you grumpy cow.

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